Alicia Connected

Technology brings benefits in the form of expanded communication with friends and family and nearly limitless entertainment. With these benefits come potential pitfalls. Especially with children. With the increasing access to technology by our children, it can be difficult to keep up with what they should and shouldn't be doing with that technology. As parents we often cede entertainment and communication to the devices because, frankly, it's easy. However, there are plenty of concerns with technology being misused whether intentional or not. Children don't often have the self-control, or awareness to steer clear of dangerous content. Additionally, it's not uncommon for them to be targeted by specific content that we may find objectionable.

Enter the “Technology Contract”. Often called a digital contract, or parent & child contract, these documents set the ground rules for the use of technology that has been provided to the child. It is important to underscore that technology is privilege not a right. When parents provide their child with access to a device, they are providing it to them in good faith. This device is typically under the parents account and is paid for by the parents, meaning that the rights to the device belong to the parent. While every contract will be different depending on the parents and the child, there are core concepts that should be baked into every contract.

What are the goals of the contract? Reduce screentime? Protect privacy? Limit access to certain times and places? All of the above? The parents need to agree on what the goals of the contract should be. Additionally, these contracts are signed by the parent and the child. This means that it’s not an opportunity for the parents to write an oppressive contract but rather have a conversation with the child to understand what the goals are, what the consequences are, and come to an agreement. Ultimately, the parents will need to be parents and determine what's best, but when the child takes part in the formulation of the contract, they are more likely to stick to it and feel like they have a stake. Because they do!

The contract should be appropriate for the age of the child. If your child is of driving age, having content in the contract related to safe usage of the phone while driving a vehicle will be appropriate. If your child is younger, focusing the contract on screentime and places to use the device will be more aligned. However, each parenting style and child will require a different approach to what is needed in the contract. Only you know what makes sense based on your household and child.

While the specifics are important, having a contract that builds a safe and privacy conscience environment for your child is most important. This means sticking to what will provide safety and privacy that aligns to your households’ goals. Setting boundaries regarding acceptable online behavior, letting them know that their device will be monitored, and having periodic spot checks of the device are potentially core principles of the contract regardless of household or age. This goes back to the notion of devices being a privilege not a right.

Great, you have a contract outlines, now comes the hard part. What do you do when it’s broken? This is one of the more difficult parts of the agreement between the parents and child. Although the consequences will vary in each household and be based on the breach, the underlying approach should be to ensure that when and infraction has occurred that the consequences should be immediate and consistent. These can range from loss of access for a period of time, all the way up to losing the device privilege all together. Again, this is dependent on the household, but one of the most difficult parts is to stay consistent. Nothing will break the confidence of the contract quicker than when it’s not honored.

Lastly, as parents it is important to model the behavior that you wish to see in your child. If the technology contract stipulates that there are no devices permitted in certain places or times, be sure to follow those same rules as a parent. This reinforces the behavior and provide a good model. Providing this example will help show your child that you are following a similar agreement and maintaining healthy online behavior.

If you are looking for a sample contract, you can start with Bark’s: https://d12jofbmgge65s.cloudfront.net/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/bark_tech_contract_2021.pdf